Prince Phillip

Joaquin comes sauntering into the bedroom this morning.  Picture the following:  A skinny little four year old boy, in green stripey footie pajamas (with holes in both feet).  There is a gun holster around his tiny waist (with the holsters put on backwards, so the gun handles are knocking into each other in front of him), a wooden sword jammed into the back of his shirt, hilt protruding eight inches over his right shoulder, a red light sabre in one hand, and a paint stick in the other.
"Good morning, lady.  I am Prince Phillip."  I am momentarily dizzy by the number of toy weapons this boy has somehow accumulated.
"Good morning, Prince Phillip."
"I am here to protect your kingdom."
"Really?  That's great."   As I am unable to immediately think of any threat the kingdom currently faces, we stare blankly at one another for a few moments.  "Prince Phillip, I love you.  Do you have a wife?"  He nods yes.
"She's back at my castle.  She's the Queen.  Princes have to marry queens."
"Oh."  I say.  "Makes sense.  Do you have any children?"  Prince Phillip nods.  "What are their names?"
"There's Junior, Wookie-"  I cut him off.
"Excuse me, did you say 'Wookie'?"  He nods.  "Oh.  Junior and Wookie.  Those are nice names."
"There are more.  There's Ellie and Terrie and Pah'ee."
"Ellie and Terrie and Pah'ee?"  I'm usually good at not laughing at my children's make believe, but the combination of names Prince Phillip has given his children sets a little tremor in my voice.
"Yeaaaah.  Would you like to meet them?  I have a long horse that can fit them all so they can come meet you."
"I'm sorry, did you just say that you have a 'long horse to fit them all'?"  He nods.  "Yes, I'd love to meet them."
He wanders out of the room.  From the living room, I hear him call to his five children to get on the horse and come meet me.  They must be spectacularly well behaved children, because he's returned in no time, introducing me to Junior, Wookie, Ellie, Terrie, and Pah'ee.  They all seem lovely.  Ken (who has now woken up enough to engage Prince Phillip in conversation), asks the prince what the horse's name is.
"He doesn't have one."  the prince responds.
"A horse with no name, huh?  Someone should make a song about that."  I think my observation is funny, the prince is not amused. 
"Well.  Her name is....Darren."  He looks up at me quickly.  "Is Darren a girl's name?" 
"I guess so."
A sliding noise is then heard coming down the hall.  Gabriel appears in the doorway, sliding an object that the boys have alarmingly dubbed their "weapons box" (think: empty case of diapers from Costco).  Gabriel looks for all the world like the dutiful but dimwitted sidekick.  Prince Phillip instructs his page to take the weapons box back to the castle, but not before I hear the unmistakable sound of jingle bells coming from the box.
"What's jingling in there?  Do you have a weapon that jingles?"  Prince Phillip nods.
"Yes.  That's what the animals use to signal to me that there is an evil giraffe I have to slay."
"Evil giraffe?"
"Yes."  He says very seriously.  "It happens all the time."