Sunday, January 6, 2013

WIWS

Right.
I have some confessions to make.

1.  I love love love graphic tee shirts.  I have loved them since I was an adolescent, and when most people matured out of the fashions of their youth, I have refused.

Refused, refuse, refusing, will refused, will have refused, etc.

You can pry my graphic tees out of my cold, dead hands.
But not the one they bury me in.  I'm taking that one to the grave.

2.  I have a lot of gorgeous dresses.  Classy, age-appropriate, figure flattering yet modest dresses.
Dresses like this:
And I can't wear any of them yet.
A horrifying 35 pounds stands between me and them.

But I'll get back to them.  Oh yes I will.  Because in the order of my wardrobe, it's graphic tee shirts, then awesome shoes, then gorgeous dresses.

Someday my preciousnessesssssss.
But not today.

So that means lots of times when I get dressed for Mass, I am upset that I can't wear the classy, age-appropriate, flattering dresses yet, so I punish myself by dressing extra schlubby.

Like, "hey, let's wear graphic tee shirts to Mass because I hate how my body looks and I'd rather people look at my inappropriate clothing choice than my flabby body" kind of schlubby.

Whiiiiiiich is not the intent of Fine Linen and Purple's awesome linkup, to showcase schlubby Mass outfits, but after reading quite a few of my fellow bloggers talking how they were probably not going to linkup anymore because they dreaded seeing what they looked like, I wanted to offer my words of empathy and understanding.

Take a look at the woman above.  That picture was me, 20 months ago.  A pregnancy ago.  That was me after doing a butt-kicking round of P90X.

That is not me now.

Now, I'm more like this:

Note all black ensemble.  Note elastic waistband.  Note blurry picture, the better to hide the "is she 4 or 5 months pregnant?" stomach.  Note double chin, forearms best described as "sturdy".

No?  You didn't note all that?  You just saw a fellow blogger, on her way to Mass just like you?  To celebrate Epiphany just like you?  You didn't see those 35 extra pounds and immediately respond with loathing and disgust?

heh.

Because when you post your WIWS, that's what I see, too.  I see a fellow blogger, on her way to worship Our Lord and engage in the most important thing she'll do all week.

And I'd miss you if you stopped linking up.

(schlubby clothing deets:  shirt, teefury.com, skirt, Horny Toad via Zappos, tights, Kohls)
(classy clothing deets:  dress, Shabby Apple, shoes, ebay, angry children, my uterus)
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32 comments:

  1. Cari, this actually made me cry. You really spoke to my heart and a lot of pain I have about how I look.

    And then I got to the "angry children, my uterus" part and laughed, which sorta stopped the tears. :)

    Thank you.

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  2. I don't know whether to laugh because you're high-sterical or cry because I feel sensitive about my body and long for my own 20-months-ago self. Thanks for the emotion-fest. I think. ;)

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    Replies

    1. Do both! Like Dolly Parton says in "Steel Magnolias", "Laughter through tears in my favorite emotion."

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    2. Oh my gosh. I love that movie more than I should ever admit in public.

      Oops.

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    3. I just love Dolly Parton. Who DOESN'T love Dolly Parton??? And if ever a woman had a hard time finding an outfit to fit right, I'm sure she has struuuuugled.

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  3. You so funny!! I don't know many that look like the same body they had 20 mos ago.

    I personally am 8 lbs fluffier than what I was last January. It never stops. I am about ready to throw in the scales and just give up. But.........then I hate how I look in the mirror.

    All women look beautiful when they are worshipping our Lord.

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  4. I long for my 20 year ago body...you know the one we didnt know was kick ass but it was and now it is gone forever...yeah thats me

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  5. I long for my 20 year ago body...you know the one we didnt know was kick ass but it was and now it is gone forever...yeah thats me

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  6. I have been reluctant to link up, sort of because of this (ok maybe a lot) but also because I only have a few outfits that I recycle over, and over, and over, and over, etc. I love to see all you ladies that do link up though! It gives me inspiration even if my closet is mostly empty of clothing that actually, you know, fits me. :/

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    Replies

    1. I wear the same outfits over and over and over again. You're not alone, Lady of the Lakes!

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    2. Uh... at "almost bursting because I'm due in less than a month" pregnancy mode... I also wear the same outfits over and over and over (and also when I'm not pregnant, so you are SOooo not alone!

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  7. Hey, the dalek was dressed appropriately, and he doesn't care about his rather wide posterior. You're in good shape.

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  8. Thank you very much for writing this post Cari! I'm always afraid that we don't stress enough that this linkup is about wearing what helps you feel your best at mass. It's also about remembering that most women don't have unlimited budgets or a different outfit to wear every week. I do hope that those who feel discouraged look at how many linkup-ers thrift or borrow clothes, shop deals, or mix and match the same pieces each week for a somewhat-different look.

    Thanks for reaching out to everyone struggling with self-image, Cari. We'll be sharing this around.
    -Kendra, Fine Linen and Purple

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  9. You have inspired me.

    1. To buy that awesome shirt.
    2. To try the WIWS link up again and try to take it less seriously so I don't end up so frustrated this time.

    Also, maybe you should start a graphic tee link up! ;)

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  10. OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!! Exactly. I just see a bunch of beautiful women (and a few men!) that are pulling themselves into their finest(or close to it)for Mass. It is SO important to stop that negative side talk women (like me) use. That is actually the subject of the next post I am putting together. You look cute and happy in BOTH photos. Thanks you for the post!!!!

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  11. I think we all feel like this & I have weight to loose too. All these babies and making time to get our bodies back where we want them. Well you look great in your graphic t-shirt & when I looked at that picture I thought of an awesomely fun lady that looks great!! :) Thanks for sharing.

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  12. Thank you for this Cari! Every week I have to restrain myself from making some joke or negative comment about my body and the extra pounds I'm still carrying because I don't want to feed my insecurities or anyone else's...but it's there. Those ever critical thoughts and longing for the body I used to have. But that's why I love this link-up - such beautiful women, in body and spirit, that never cease to inspire! And you look amazing by the way, in the Shabby Apple dress and the graphic tee. :)

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  14. Weight fluctuation is the worst. I was 35 pounds overweight 8 months after one of my pregnancies and I eventually did the South Beach Diet and exercised a lot and lost it all. I gave away all of my "fat clothes" because I told myself I would never get up there again. Well that was dumb. So dumb. Pregnancy and nursing just make me fluffy. I wish I was one of those people who nursing makes them skinny, but I was not blessed with that gene. As a result, I am constantly riding the weight wave and I feel like the older I get, the harder it is to maintain or lose.
    Love the honesty of this post!

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  15. I didn't post today b/c 1. I wore a repeat outfit....and jewels-ish....2. I also got sidetracked trying to get in my fruit and veggies and getting ready to go to see Les Mis Aaaaaand dropping kids off so the Hubs had a quieter house to finish up some work biznizz....
    No fear tho', once we keep up this challenge we'll have all KINDS of new outfits to showcase our smokin' selves....ammiright?

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  16. You are so awesome, Cari. Thank you for writing this!

    And yowza, those angry children are not nearly enough to distract from that smokin' hot mama in her snazzy-licious dress.

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  17. Best WIWS post all week! I hate seeing my fellow femmes pick on themselves. Encouragement, encouragement!

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  18. Ok, so first off... you're right. I didn't even notice the difference between the two pictures! I thought you looked great in both (and I scrolled up and down trying to distinguish where those 35lbs could possibly be manifesting themselves!)

    2nd... I was going to write a whole list of why I haven't linked up, but think I'll just post about it instead ;) Thanks Cari.

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  19. I have learned to love Your fashion, blog, and now your writing.

    Carol Channing.

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  20. You know what I've found? That I NEVER like how I look in the moment. EVER! But then time passes and I look back like "Oh wow, I was cute there!" or I am so thankful to have pictures of me with the kids or with my hubby. We are so so so hard on ourselves, and I think the WIWS and making sure to put yourself in front of the camera every once in a while is such a good thing as long as it isn't a source of vanity. I love seeing what everyone wears and get inspired by their choices and frugality (it seems everyone can thrift and altar but me). Cari, you could never not be beautiful. You'll lose the weight eventually. I think losing it after a girl was harder than any of my boys and I waited until she was almost 2 to do it. Baby steps :)

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  21. First of all I LOVE your sarcasm and wit, thanks for that. Second of all you look great and black is the best color ever for us moms who get our body back only a month or so before it goes crazy again but all those cuties are worth it! I personally go for wearing my baby with a basic tee underneath then everyone notices my cutey and not me at mass!

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  22. I haven't linked up yet because of two reasons....nothing looks good in the boot I'm wearing and I recycle the same things over and over. Black or black? I've been working on my wardrobe slowly introducing color. I have jeans and little else in the winter. My skirts are no longer age appropriate and I need Mass clothing. Little by little.

    I could stand to drop 10 that came from nowhere after lack of marathon training and now I have an a bigger uphill battle with just walking again.

    I'm going to link eventually. :)

    Thanks for your words.

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  23. You really do rock, then and now. And you have a gift with your phrasing that really captures the moment.

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  24. I think you look better now. But maybe its because I like graphic tees over dresses.

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  25. I think you're inside my brain. I left the link up for precisely this reason, but hopefully when I can fit into more than 3 outfits in my closet I will be back :). Thanks for writing this.

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  26. Thank you for this.
    I've not linked up for this very reason. I am so super sensitive about how I look.

    I know that dress in your first picture! It's been one of my favorites for a Looooong time. I just can not bring myself to buy a beautiful dress like that for a body I hate. It's horrible. My husband is constantly on me for my self-talk.

    Maybe this week.

    I've been saying that for weeks now. ha

    Thank you for your honesty!

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  27. What a wonderful and encouraging post. Thank you! I found you through a fellow blogger who mentioned that you inspired her to go ahead and post. Heck, I must have been inspired too because I even posted from my couch, with the flu, wearing a sweatshirt.

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Reading your comment makes me a better person.

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